i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
