I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Couch. On fire.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
