Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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