i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
third nipple confirmed
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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