I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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