her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm way too hungover for life right now
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
