yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
