K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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