i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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