this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
