Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
