There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
