Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
