So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize