just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
