I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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