its not stalking. its research.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
