I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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