I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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