OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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