are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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