if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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