she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
