So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
do nipples grow back?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
