i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
be right there i have to get my cape
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
