that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
