I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize