I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize