He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
