I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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