Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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