I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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