Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
