My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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