So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
