that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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