when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize