He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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