Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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