Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
