I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
This toilet bowl is my home.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
