Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
