i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
