Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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