She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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