so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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