I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
