Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
