It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
