i just wanna soil my oats bro
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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