let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
