so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need to sanitize my soul.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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