she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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