I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize