What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
