We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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