also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
