just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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