i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
