I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
